There has recently been increased attention on the question, “What is going on with men?”—from the “manosphere” and the reactionary politics of young men, to the male loneliness epidemic and troubling trends related to violence, addiction, and suicide.

Engaging men in conversations about mental and relational health not only supports their well-being (which benefits everyone) but also presents an opportunity to cultivate more male allies in the workplace.

As the magnificent and wise bell hooks reminds us, “The first act of violence that the patriarchy demands of males is not violence toward women. Instead, patriarchy demands of males that they engage in acts of psychic self-mutilation, that they kill off the emotional parts of themselves.”

Men who come to a deeper understanding of the impact that (male) identity has had on their own lives are often more open to recognizing how identity shapes others’ experiences in the workplace—and to understanding the importance of being an ally.